salaryman | (no subject)

I don't have many people I care about, so I like to do things to show that I care. Thinking of them is one of those things. That's why it would trouble me more.

[ He's also weak—he cares too much about other people, despite his best interests. ]

Maybe I'll regret that later, maybe I won't. It's hard to say, especially in a place like this.

You'll regret it.

[ Nanami can say that for him; he does not think it is right to dictate someone's feelings, but he does not want to cause Fai anymore pain than what the man is already carrying. ]

You will regret it and I will become a curse to you. I don't want to do that to you, Mister Fai.

[ Fai shakes his head. ]

I'm already cursed, Nanamin. You can't give me a greater curse than the one I already have.

[ He alluded to it before, but never really delved into it. But, he's telling the truth. What he has now is worse. ]

Don't worry. I don't think Fushiguro's going to let anything like that happen again. And I'll make sure that he doesn't forget to take care himself, too.

[ At least they have each other to keep them in check and a good adult to keep an eye on them. ]

[ He almost wants to say that Fushiguro cannot predict something like what happened to Itadori. Even the natives didn't seem to have a good answer for what happened to him. But there is no reason to mention any of that; it would only bring unneeded stress and anxiety. ]

No, I do not suppose that he will allow anything to happen. And I do appreciate that you'll be looking after him, Itadori-kun.

It means I will have less to worry about.

Do you think that makes me happy?

[ He is going to set everything down on the counter. It's not roughly set down, as he cares about the items that they have in the apartment. There is no reason to make a show of anger that damages something that both of them have some sentimentality for. ]

Big or small, I do not wish to curse you.

[ Fai glances toward the floor. It probably doesn't make Nanami happy, and that's evident in the way he sets everything down.

He's serious—more than he usually is. ]

You won't. I know what a curse feels like, and nything lesser than what I already have isn't a true curse to me.

[ That's how he sees it, at least. ]

I don't think you're capable of even becoming a curse to me.

[ Because he has had someone become a curse to him before. Fai can't see Nanami ever reaching that level. ]

I don't know. Maybe.

[ It's not like he has a lot of friendships or...general positive relationships with others to even back up the claims he's making, so - he'll just assume that Nanami has more experience. ]

I understand, though. It says a lot about you.

Whether or not you recognize it is hardly the issue.

[ It is then that Nanami wonders if he has the capability of exorcising the curse that is on Fai. He is willing to admit that it is something out of his capabilities, as well. The curse did not originate in his world, and may not be something he can handle, but -- ]

Don't say that. While alive we cannot create curses, we are capable of it at the moment of our deaths.

[ But he returns to his original thought. ]

Then, I shall ensure that you will not want to be cursed by me ... by attempting to exorcise the curse that you are under.

Maybe?

[ Explain that, deer. ]

Does it?

[ Is he being perceived? He isn't sure how he feels about that. ]

[ Fai shakes his head, his mind immediately going back to when he was cursed. What would Fei Wang Reed do if he found out someone exorcised that curse? He would probably curse Nanami tenfold, if not outright kill him. ]

No. Don't try. Please.

[ He exhales, belatedly realizing that it comes out a little shaky. He hates talking about it, but he should probably tell Nanami why he doesn't want that. ]

I should have told you since we're living together, but I'm a magician. Or a mage or sorcerer... whatever they're called in your world. [ He looks away, down at the floor. ] I'm cursed to kill the first person I come across that's more powerful than me.

[ And he has no idea if that curse even works here, or if it applies to anyone in this world at all. ]

The only way to end it is for it to be activated.

Edited 2021-05-02 01:45 (UTC)

Hey, it's Cloud. I got something for you, so...

[fumbling sounds, and his voice growing quieter.]

Where can I meet you?

You got something for me?

[ What? ]

Why?

[ He opens his mouth like he might protest but the manner in which Fai speaks stops him. His shoulders drop just slightly before he straightens his posture; his lips press into a thin, worried line. ]

If you did not feel comfortable telling me these things, it is nothing to feel sorry or guilty for, Mister Fai. [ Nanami feels like saying that to him, and letting him know that he holds not ill will about it.

But he pauses at hearing what he's been cursed with. How cruel. Isn't that cursing a person to die in such a roundabout and terrible manner? He wants to ask why he was cursed like this, but can only assume the individual is simply an evil person.

There are those that have deep and complex reasons for doing things, he can admit that much, and there are those he doesn't care to understand or sympathize with regardless of their reasons.

Because he, too, can be cruel when he wishes to be. ]

I see. [ He hesitates for a moment before reaching out to place his hand on Fai's shoulder, gripping it lightly. A sigh slips past his lips -- a wave of frustration can be felt in his emotions -- before he pulls him forward into a quick embrace.

Sympathy for his plight, reluctant resignation in accepting Fai will care for him as he already decides to care for the mage, and a burning fury for the person that cursed him -- all these emotions felt as he holds him. ]

[ He looks at Nanami properly, surprised to hear that he doesn't care that Fai kept something like that from him. His immediate reaction is to ask him if that's really okay, if he should be hiding the fact that he's potentially dangerous. Somehow, though, he thinks Nanami would still insist that he shouldn't feel guilty or apologetic about it.

That hand on his shoulder makes him smile a little, and he's about to tell Nanami that he doesn't need to comfort him, but then he pulls Fai into a hug. Immediately, his eyes widen and those emotions—sympathy, resignation, and fury—are practically radiating from Nanami through their bond. It's almost overwhelming, and without even realizing it, Fai's arms wrap around Nanami in return, tight and almost desperate.

He... didn't realize how badly he needed a hug, and it's all hitting him now. Maybe it was meant to be quick, but Fai doesn't want to let go just yet. ]

[ Nanami is a person that does not hug people easily; he keeps to his own space and people respect the boundaries that he sets for himself. But he cannot listen to Fai's situation, to all the implications of what the curse he has been given means, and not respond in some way.

His hold tightens around him, and he dips his head down to rest it softly against the man's head. He isn't able to get his feelings to settle -- they remain the same blend of emotions, but there is a sense of relief that Fai is willing to let himself be comforted. ]

It may be too simplistic and cruel for me to say, but... you did not do anything wrong. [ Yes. It is too easy and too brutal a statement for him to make; he's someone uninvolved and does not know the full story. But still, he did admit to himself that he can be cruel at times. ]

I... You would probably change your mind if you knew.

[ Fai's own emotions are mixed up too—a cocktail of frustration with himself, grief, and sadness that Nanami can probably feel.

Fai squeezes him tighter, burying his face in Nanami's neck. ]

But... I want to believe what you said for now.

[ The truth is, no one has ever said that to him before. It's a relief to hear, even if he's sure Nanami would change his mind. ]

[ Nanami sees no reason to lie and say that he would not change his mind if he knew the truth. It may be that whatever truly happened may be Fai's fault in some way, but he goes over what was shared before -- and he refuses to believe that he will change his mind.

Even if it is an inconvenient truth, he does not desire to damn one person who has already been dragged down so far. He also sees no reason to do that, and Fai is someone who still reaches out to help and care for others.

And so he can firmly say: ]

I won't. I will not change my mind.

Ah... alright.

[ he responds awkwardly, not sure what else to say here. nanami has been more than just helpful to them during their stay here. he's not sure what he could do to repay him ]

We'll also make sure to look after you! It'd be bad if anything happened to you, too, Nanamin.

You're always making food for me. I thought—

Nevermind. Forget it.

Maybe. As in, I don't think it's right but I don't have any evidence to prove you otherwise.

[ He needs a little more experience. ]

That's maybe.

And it tells me that you'd rather sacrifice yourself than be a danger to others. It means you're a good person.

[ He knows there's no point in refuting what Nanami says, because he'll just reiterate that his mind won't change, so Fai stays quiet. His hold on Nanami momentarily tightens before loosening as Fai practically slumps against him. ]

...Thank you.

[ It's quiet, just barely loud enough for Nanami to hear. ]

I didn't realize how much I needed to hear something like that.

[ He laughs softly, mildly surprised that he admitted that. Then again, Nanami knows a lot more about him know, so there's no reason to hide these things. ]

[ at the very least, he isn't gone that long. he has wondered when the last time fushiguro had an actual meal, and did not like the idea of leaving the teenager on his own. of course, there was only so much "smothering" that he would allow himself to do, too.

so he brings enough for a simple meal -- miso salmon. relatively quick to make and can be filling without being too much on an uneasy stomach. ]

I've returned. [ that is how he announces himself before he begins cooking. ]

That won't be necessary.

[ But he sighs. ]

You do not have to worry about me, Itadori-kun.