salaryman | (no subject)

[ No, it isn't so much that he forgot, but he did not realize how much stock that Itadori put into him being important to him. There is concern that he feels in that, because there may come a time when he may be injured or worse; he would rather the space that he held in the teenager's heart and spirit be something negligible in order to spare him any pain.

In his opinion, Itadori has suffered enough.

But at the same time, those are his own selfish feelings. His own selfish wish without taking into account how Itadori feels and what he has already decided to do. He is not so much of a child as to demand the impossible out of someone, and not so much of a heartless person to dismiss the kind intentions of someone that he cares about, too. ]

I remember.

In this matter, it seems I am beat. I'll allow you to worry about me, then, Itadori-kun.

[ He does taste a bit of the coffee, of the cake, but also just Fai himself.

The two of them accept the weaknesses of the other. They accept them, but they don't condone them. He thinks both of them want to find a way to save the other person from themselves.

Those are the sort of feelings that swirl inside of him, anyway; it is what he feels as he gently strokes the side of Fai's face, as he draws his hand back to tangle his fingers a little in the man's hair to mirror what he's doing to his own.

Nanami thinks it's the sort of talk, of agreement, that they wouldn't be able to have in words without arguing. ]

[ He sighs into the kiss when he feels Nanami's fingers in his hair. It feels nice.

It also feels nice to understand Nanami's feelings a little better... Who would have thought he would achieve that through kissing him?

Maybe the problem is that neither of them can be saved, or at least they can't save each other. Fai isn't so sure what it is.

Still... maybe they can help one another. Just because they can't be saved doesn't mean they can't at least lift one another up. Those thoughts swirl through Fai's head as he pulls a little on Nanami's shirt, backing up until he bumps up against the counter and can more easily pull Nanami flush against him. ]

[ He takes the few steps to follow after Fai until they both are stopped. He pulls away for a second, panting softly. Nanami just needs a bit of air -- but he is soon bringing their mouths back together.

If they start talking, he isn't certain what will be said next. Perhaps, that is a little cowardly, but if they say anything more, they'll also end up hurting one another, too.

The idea that they could help one another rather than save the other; he wonders if that is possible.

The hand on Fai's face drops to wrap tight around the mage's waist, to pull him close to him; his heart hurts for him. He hates having his sympathetic self be so readily perceived, but he thinks it would be wrong not to show him this side, too. ]

[ the cool thing about nanami (aside from him being cool and intimidating in general) is that he's always to the point. which is great when he's been used to dealing with other adults like gojo, who likely wouldn't let yuta hear the end of it in regards to what he's about to ask: ]

Is tea a safe housewarming gift?

[ He blinks at the question. Somehow, he thought it would be something else, but this is also fine. ]

It is all right.

It would be better to give something that the owner or owners are in need of, instead. Or perhaps something to wish them good luck in their new residence.

[ Fai's fingers tighten in Nanami's hair when he's pulled close like that, enjoying the closeness. Usually, this isn't something he would do with someone he lives with—it's a bad idea. It's easier to sleep with people who don't know anything about him, who don't know that he's a little (or a lot) broken.

However... that's unavoidable in this world. In a world that thrives on connections, it's inevitable that Fai will grow close to people. So, he isn't as afraid to keep kissing Nanami despite the fact that they might be too close for this.

Besides, if this turns out to be a bad decision, he'll deal with it.

So for now, he breaks the kiss so he can start pressing soft kisses down along Nanami's jaw and towards his neck. It's a show of both appreciation and how much he wants more of this. ]

[ His fingers flinch against Fai's body as he comes a little to his senses. It is feeling those small, little kisses against his jaw and the emotions that are tied with them.

A worry burns in his stomach and he finally has to say something. He lifts his hands to rest on either side of Fai's face against, stopping him so that he can look him properly in the eyes.

Nanami believes whatever he is going to say next would sound much better if he wasn't breathing so heavily, and with their bodies flush against one another, his emotions are laid raw -- he does want more of this, as well. But he is someone who always wants to be sincere to the person he is with, regardless of what it may be. ]

It is not my desire to add more troubles to you. That is why I will have to ask the impossible... if something should happen, if things grow sour... you will blame me for it.

[ Because he feels that Fai has spent too long blaming himself for things that are not his fault, and things that are. His expression breaks a little before he rests his forehead against Fai's again. ]

I rarely take responsibility for things that are shared blame, so appreciate the privilege I am giving you. [ He thinks if he puts it like that, puts it like a joke, even though his voice is soft and quiet that his wish will be accepted. ]

[ His fingers tighten on Nanami's shirt. Can he blame it on Nanami? He's not sure.

Still, that comment makes him laugh softly. ]

I... I can't promise that. I think, if something bad were to happen between us, we would both be to blame for it. Would you let me share the blame?

[ It's a compromise. Fai can't put it all on Nanami, and while he's relatively confident things won't turn sour between them, there's always the chance that it could. And if that were to happen... Fai knows he would be partially at fault.

But he also knows that isn't enough. So, he adds: ]

So... while I can't promise to blame you, I can promise that I won't blame myself.

[ Maybe Nanami would be right, but by this point, it's far from something he can just keep casual and be fine with it. He admires Nanami and he cares about him. Unfortunately, he lost a part of his childhood innocence that day with the curses and Nanami was there to help support him through it. He's one of the few that knows what really happened. A secret he's kept even from his close companions.

At this point, severing ties and keeping things much more casual and not caring about Nanami would just cause him more pain and suffering. So it's good that Nanami is willing to accept him like this. ]

I'm glad you're agreeing to is so easily, Nanamin! I'd have to fight you on that, otherwise.

Perhaps, that is why I am agreeing to it so easily, Itadori-kun.

[ A small joke. ]

In any case, you are also important to me so it would be insincere to not be willing to let you worry about me as I do you.

[ Just like he worries about Fushiguro, just like he worries about Yoshino, he cares about them in his own way. He does not want to get in the way of their autonomy and lives, however. However, he does wish to continue to be someone that they can rely and turn to if they need it; that is what he can be for them, someone solid and constant should the world turn too unkind and unpredictable. ]

That makes me happy to hear!

[ He means this sincerely. Nanami is a good person and has been such a grounding spot for him all along. He's glad that Nanami lets him come to him whenever he needs something. His only wish would be that Nanami could potentially rely on him if something were to happen to him, too. ]

[ He gives a nod even though Itadori can't see it. ]

Thank you, again, for telling me that you have woken up.

[ he is... working up to it! okay!! give him a bit.

but that is not a "no", so— ]

I see.
I've just met him, so I'm not entirely sure what he needs.
Would a plant be a symbol of good luck?

I understand.

Yes, a plant would be good. It gives the impression that you believe it will live well in their care for a long time, and that they will be where they are also flourishing, in some small way.

[ imagining giving kisame a plant is somehow funnier than it should be, but... maybe a succulent? he seems like a succulent kind of guy. sort of. ]

Okay, I think I have an idea.
Thank you, Nanami-san!

[ and now that that's out of the way, ]

Could I ask you something else?

You are welcome, Okkotsu-kun.

[ another question? ]

It would be rude to say that you can only ask me one thing a day. Furthermore, you are not a certain person that we both know that would ask me inane questions under the guise of wanting something else, so I trust you not to waste my time.

What is it that you want to ask me?

Ah, right!

[ whew... ]

Well, I guess the easiest way to ask this is, if you're comfortable with telling me, what's the last thing you remember from home?

[ The last thing? ]

Itadori-kun, Fushiguro-kun and Kugisaki-chan each killed one Special Grade Curse, and they were being considered for Grade 1 Sorcerers.

[ Would you let me share in the blame?

There is a denial that builds up in him. He doesn't want Fai to have to do even that much, but he understands how unreasonable that he is being in his request. His desire to protect him, to have him continue to be safe with him, it should not take away Fai's own agency and choice. ]

Then, we can share in it.

[ Yes, that is a compromise that he is willing to accept.

His eyes close for a second before he reaches down to take the man's hand. He makes a gesture with his head to indicate that carrying on this business in the kitchen is not what he wants to do.

The magic of the impulsiveness is over, and for that he is glad. It means that they'll be honest and sincere with one another. He lightly tugs his hand as he intends to walk them both back to his bedroom. ]

[ He's relieved that Nanami accepts that compromise—for a moment, Fai was worried that he wouldn't. So, when Nanami takes his hand and leads him back to his room, there's a small smile on Fai's face. By this point, Fai is sure that Nanami can tell apart his genuine and fake smiles.

This one is genuine.

When they reach the bedroom, Fai lightly tugs on Nanami's hand to pull him closer before letting go so he can grab onto his shirt instead to initiate another kiss. ]

[ It is interesting to do this outside of the influence of pollen or dust. He understands there is something freeing about letting one be driven by their emotions; Nanami certainly understood a little of what he was lacking.

But there is equally something precious about being sincere with someone else. The two of them won't blame anyone but themselves, and he offers his own genuine smile to the mage.

He doesn't mind when Fai grabs his own shirt. His hand reaches to first gently stroke the side of his face, lightly running his fingers through his hair, before his hand drops to help him with removing his clothes, too. ]

Just one something good?

Or several somethings?

I think the distinction between a good person and someone who does a good deed or two is intent, which only you can truly know.

I've known more bad than good, and I still think you're a good person.

Despite your protests.

You can't change my mind, so don't bother trying.

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