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[ He knows there's no point in refuting what Nanami says, because he'll just reiterate that his mind won't change, so Fai stays quiet. His hold on Nanami momentarily tightens before loosening as Fai practically slumps against him. ]

...Thank you.

[ It's quiet, just barely loud enough for Nanami to hear. ]

I didn't realize how much I needed to hear something like that.

[ He laughs softly, mildly surprised that he admitted that. Then again, Nanami knows a lot more about him know, so there's no reason to hide these things. ]

You're welcome.

[ He does want to argue about being thanked; he doesn't believe what he has said deserves it. In truth, it is something that Fai should have heard from others long ago. It should have been heard as soon as he was cursed in the first place.

"It wasn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong."

His arms tighten around him yet again before relaxing. The anger he feels flares just a little bit more before it settles. Not much shows on his face, but that's fine; the two of them are this close and so he does not need to hide his emotions. ]

I shall say them whenever you are feeling like you are unworthy of them. [ A beat. ] So you don't forget the truth of what I said.

[ There are many truths in the world; this is the truth that he decides to live in, and would like Fai to live in it, as well. ]

[ He smiles softly to himself, even as he feels that flash of anger. It's probably at whoever cursed him, isn't it? Fai bites back a comment that being angry on his behalf isn't worth it. ]

I'll try not to.

[ Fai can't promise that he'll view Nanami's words as truth, but he can promise to try. That's all he can do.

He steps away once Nanami's hold on him relaxes. It seems like he's going to fully disengage for a moment before Fai pulls on Nanami's collar to bring him closer again. His grip isn't strong and one that Nanami could easily wrangle himself out of, but Fai would like to think he wouldn't. Since Nanami is an inch or two taller, he tugs on it a little to bring him down so he can give him a kiss on the cheek.

It's another thanks—more affectionate than the previous one and one Nanami doesn't have to hear uttered. ]

[ He lets his arms start to drop away until Fai pulls him down. It isn't necessarily insisting as it is just asking. Nanami doesn't pull himself back but lets himself be brought down closer to his level. There is mild curiosity felt in their connection -- What are you doing?

His eyebrows lift at the soft kiss on his cheek. He feels the thanks that is given, and there is resigned gratitude for being thanked. Though, he would say that there is nothing that he needs to be thanked for. Still, he tells himself yet again that there are times when he need not be so much himself.

Nanami lets out a small sigh as he rests his hands on either side of Fai's face and sets his forehead lightly against the mage's. It's all right. I'll be at and on your side for as long as I am here. ]

[ He feels safe.

It's a strange feeling, and he can't remember the last time he felt it. It's... surprisingly nice. One of his hands goes up to rest over Nanami's as he lets out a small sigh, letting himself bask in this feeling.

But, he also finds his gaze drifting to Nanami's lips, and the grip he still has on his collar tightens a little. ]

Hey, Nana-pon. Can I...?

[ He feels like he doesn't necessarily need to finish the rest of that question, but his heart still beats at the thought of it despite himself. ]

[ Nanami thinks that it might be wise to tell him "no." His own desire to not be perceived or worried about comes up, again, but he also feels how Fai does. This quiet moment does make him feel safe and comfortable, as well.

It is one that comes from being able to protect someone's heart even a little. ]

It's fine.

[ His voice involuntarily softens as he answers him. ]

[ It probably would be a good idea not to do this, but then again, Fai doesn't avoid things because they're a bad idea.

So, he shifts just a little so he can press his lips against Nanami's. It's a soft kiss, and Fai keeps it chaste, wanting to gauge Nanami's reaction before he does anything more. Despite that, however, a simple kiss like this feels intense.

Sharing a stronger bond with someone really does make a difference, and Fai is feeling that right now. ]

[ The soft, chaste kiss feels like another thank you and also something more. If he knew how Fai felt, he would agree that it felt more intense than one would think it should.

His hands are already on his face so he can tilt his head a little so that he can deepen the kiss. Is it wise to do so? Is it selfish? Nanami believes that it is not the wisest or kindest act that he could do, but --

-- the feelings are one of appreciation, of care, of honest affection that he has for Fai, and he wants to make certain that he feels them. ]

[ He sighs into the kiss when Nanami deepens it, his fingers tightening their grip on the fabric of his shirt. Hopefully he doesn't wrinkle it...

But that small worry escapes him when he feels that affection and care coming from Nanami. It almost overwhelms him, and the temptation to back away is there, but Fai finds himself pressing closer instead, slightly parting his lips as an invitation for Nanami to further deepen the kiss.

At the same time, there's a surge of affection from Fai, hesitant at first, like he's not sure he's allowed to feel emotions like that before it grows strong and sure. ]

[ There is worry, of course, that he feels from those emotions, because he does not think that he's a person worthy of receiving them. He's someone who would die for others, because he prioritizes the lives of others over his own; in many ways, he considers that not fair to Fai.

It is why Nanami stills just for a second -- concern for Fai, for his heart, for his affection that he feels for him. The silent feeling that he does not believe he should be the person to receive them.

But the hesitation only lasts for a few seconds. It is enough for the mage to feel, to know that Nanami appreciates those feelings, but also let him know that he's not the person that can truly save him. At least, that's what he thinks. ]

[ If Nanami can't really, truly save him... then that's okay with Fai. After all, he doesn't think he can be saved, and he wouldn't put that sort of burden on Nanami anyway. He wonders if maybe they aren't being fair to each other... but how would they solve that?

Fai doesn't know, and he doesn't know if he wants to really think about it either. After all, he'd much rather think about how nice Nanami's lips feel against his. His palm flattens out against Nanami's chest, letting go of the fabric and resting there instead while his other hand moves so Fai can run his fingers through Nanami's short hair.

There's another, smaller surge of affection. This is nice—despite the hesitance on both of their ends, Fai still feels safe. ]

[ Honestly, Nanami isn't completely made of stone.

He merely always says that he doesn't like having his emotions dictate what he should be doing. But when faced with feeling those small surges of affection, with how safe Fai feels in this moment, he can't help but soften a little of his resolve and worries.

It helps that his thinking quiets for a little bit when Fai runs his fingers through his hair. As said before, he isn't completely immune to others, to emotions, to being touched. So, he does kiss him deeper; he tilts his head as he turns his so that it is easier to do so.

Nanami hesitates for a second before opening his mouth. ]

[ That hesitation doesn't go unnoticed, so Fai is careful as he slides his tongue past Nanami's lips. He wonders if Nanami tastes like the coffee and cake they just ate, or something entirely different, before his tongue slides against his.

Fai's fingers tighten just a little in Nanami's hair, but enough to be noticeable. He wants more already and that is probably something Nanami can feel too, but there's no rush in his actions, both because of that hesitance he felt earlier and the fact that just this is fine for now too.

Maybe he should be a little more worried about what things will be like after this, but for now, Fai will just enjoy it. ]

[ He does taste a bit of the coffee, of the cake, but also just Fai himself.

The two of them accept the weaknesses of the other. They accept them, but they don't condone them. He thinks both of them want to find a way to save the other person from themselves.

Those are the sort of feelings that swirl inside of him, anyway; it is what he feels as he gently strokes the side of Fai's face, as he draws his hand back to tangle his fingers a little in the man's hair to mirror what he's doing to his own.

Nanami thinks it's the sort of talk, of agreement, that they wouldn't be able to have in words without arguing. ]

[ He sighs into the kiss when he feels Nanami's fingers in his hair. It feels nice.

It also feels nice to understand Nanami's feelings a little better... Who would have thought he would achieve that through kissing him?

Maybe the problem is that neither of them can be saved, or at least they can't save each other. Fai isn't so sure what it is.

Still... maybe they can help one another. Just because they can't be saved doesn't mean they can't at least lift one another up. Those thoughts swirl through Fai's head as he pulls a little on Nanami's shirt, backing up until he bumps up against the counter and can more easily pull Nanami flush against him. ]

[ He takes the few steps to follow after Fai until they both are stopped. He pulls away for a second, panting softly. Nanami just needs a bit of air -- but he is soon bringing their mouths back together.

If they start talking, he isn't certain what will be said next. Perhaps, that is a little cowardly, but if they say anything more, they'll also end up hurting one another, too.

The idea that they could help one another rather than save the other; he wonders if that is possible.

The hand on Fai's face drops to wrap tight around the mage's waist, to pull him close to him; his heart hurts for him. He hates having his sympathetic self be so readily perceived, but he thinks it would be wrong not to show him this side, too. ]

[ Fai's fingers tighten in Nanami's hair when he's pulled close like that, enjoying the closeness. Usually, this isn't something he would do with someone he lives with—it's a bad idea. It's easier to sleep with people who don't know anything about him, who don't know that he's a little (or a lot) broken.

However... that's unavoidable in this world. In a world that thrives on connections, it's inevitable that Fai will grow close to people. So, he isn't as afraid to keep kissing Nanami despite the fact that they might be too close for this.

Besides, if this turns out to be a bad decision, he'll deal with it.

So for now, he breaks the kiss so he can start pressing soft kisses down along Nanami's jaw and towards his neck. It's a show of both appreciation and how much he wants more of this. ]

[ His fingers flinch against Fai's body as he comes a little to his senses. It is feeling those small, little kisses against his jaw and the emotions that are tied with them.

A worry burns in his stomach and he finally has to say something. He lifts his hands to rest on either side of Fai's face against, stopping him so that he can look him properly in the eyes.

Nanami believes whatever he is going to say next would sound much better if he wasn't breathing so heavily, and with their bodies flush against one another, his emotions are laid raw -- he does want more of this, as well. But he is someone who always wants to be sincere to the person he is with, regardless of what it may be. ]

It is not my desire to add more troubles to you. That is why I will have to ask the impossible... if something should happen, if things grow sour... you will blame me for it.

[ Because he feels that Fai has spent too long blaming himself for things that are not his fault, and things that are. His expression breaks a little before he rests his forehead against Fai's again. ]

I rarely take responsibility for things that are shared blame, so appreciate the privilege I am giving you. [ He thinks if he puts it like that, puts it like a joke, even though his voice is soft and quiet that his wish will be accepted. ]

[ His fingers tighten on Nanami's shirt. Can he blame it on Nanami? He's not sure.

Still, that comment makes him laugh softly. ]

I... I can't promise that. I think, if something bad were to happen between us, we would both be to blame for it. Would you let me share the blame?

[ It's a compromise. Fai can't put it all on Nanami, and while he's relatively confident things won't turn sour between them, there's always the chance that it could. And if that were to happen... Fai knows he would be partially at fault.

But he also knows that isn't enough. So, he adds: ]

So... while I can't promise to blame you, I can promise that I won't blame myself.

[ Would you let me share in the blame?

There is a denial that builds up in him. He doesn't want Fai to have to do even that much, but he understands how unreasonable that he is being in his request. His desire to protect him, to have him continue to be safe with him, it should not take away Fai's own agency and choice. ]

Then, we can share in it.

[ Yes, that is a compromise that he is willing to accept.

His eyes close for a second before he reaches down to take the man's hand. He makes a gesture with his head to indicate that carrying on this business in the kitchen is not what he wants to do.

The magic of the impulsiveness is over, and for that he is glad. It means that they'll be honest and sincere with one another. He lightly tugs his hand as he intends to walk them both back to his bedroom. ]

[ He's relieved that Nanami accepts that compromise—for a moment, Fai was worried that he wouldn't. So, when Nanami takes his hand and leads him back to his room, there's a small smile on Fai's face. By this point, Fai is sure that Nanami can tell apart his genuine and fake smiles.

This one is genuine.

When they reach the bedroom, Fai lightly tugs on Nanami's hand to pull him closer before letting go so he can grab onto his shirt instead to initiate another kiss. ]

[ It is interesting to do this outside of the influence of pollen or dust. He understands there is something freeing about letting one be driven by their emotions; Nanami certainly understood a little of what he was lacking.

But there is equally something precious about being sincere with someone else. The two of them won't blame anyone but themselves, and he offers his own genuine smile to the mage.

He doesn't mind when Fai grabs his own shirt. His hand reaches to first gently stroke the side of his face, lightly running his fingers through his hair, before his hand drops to help him with removing his clothes, too. ]

[ That smile makes Fai's heart beat just a little faster—he wants to see Nanami smile like that more. Fai leans into his touch too, momentarily closing his eyes before opening them again and working on getting Nanami's shirt off, unbuttoning any buttons he needs to. He also works on Nanami's pants, hurriedly undoing a belt and tossing it off to the side if there's one to worry about, before sliding them down.

Fai easily takes care of his own clothes too, stepping back to give Nanami an appreciative once-over. Look, he might as well take some time to take in the view, right?

He doesn't spend too long doing that before he grabs Nanami's hand and falls back onto the bed, pulling Nanami on top of him as Fai spreads his legs enough so that he can settle between them. There's something nice about doing this with someone he knows instead of a stranger he just met, like most of his other experience before coming to this world. Anything beyond casual intimacy always scared Fai, and it still does to an extent. However, knowing and liking the people he sleeps with makes it that much better.

Funny how that works. ]

[ Nanami helps as he can with Fai undressing him -- occasionally stopping to cup the man's face in his hands so that he can kiss him deeply. The amount of affection that he has for him spills out with each touch. His anger of before has faded, because it has no place in what the two of them are doing presently.

There is a part of him that wants to pull Fai back into his arms as soon as he steps back to take care of his own clothes. He realizes how silly that is, but it is the irrational part of him that wants to protect him, to envelope him in a sense of safety and security.

It's a silly thought.

He looks up as his hand is taken; he follows after as the mage falls onto the bed. His breath catching just a little in feeling his legs spread so that he can be comfortably between them. The warm affection spikes and morphs itself easily into desire. Nanami looks down at him -- he lets out a small sigh; he is aware that his arousal is something known, is pressing against Fai's body.

He runs his fingers through Fai's hair, feeling the sparks and rush of just wanting hit him. Nanami leans down to kiss his chin and dips his head down to press more kisses onto the man's neck. There is something good about having their emotions be felt like this, too -- yet another sincere conversation without words.

His other hand drifts up to rest lightly against Fai's mouth, running the tips of his fingers against his lips, asking him politely to suck on them. ]

[ All of this affection... Fai wants it to last—he doesn't want to let it go. It's weird, and if he weren't so distracted by Nanami right now, Fai would be alarmed by the fact that he wants to bask in it.

But he's able to let go of those thoughts right now so he can instead focus on the way Nanami feels, the way his arousal feels pressed tight against him. He's sure that Nanami can feel his too, especially obvious with his legs spread like this. Just this already feels so good that Fai wants to let himself get lost in it. He tilts his head back so Nanami can more easily access his neck as he closes his eyes, simply enjoying the way Nanami's lips feel against his skin. Fai lets his own feelings of affection for him surge through their bond, unafraid to let it be felt for now.

Nanami's fingers against his lips is a bit of a surprise, and Fai opens his eyes before taking hold of Nanami's hand so he can hold it steady while his tongue darts out and swirls around his fingers before he takes him into his mouth. He sucks, his tongue laying flat against his fingers as Fai briefly wonders if Nanami might consider this a preview for other places Fai can use his mouth.

Still... Just having Nanami pressed up against him doesn't feel like enough, not when Fai can feel the sheer want radiating from him. So, Fai wraps one of his legs around Nanami, using his heel to press their hips together as he moans softly around his fingers. ]

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slaps an nsfw warning here

NSFW! slap slap

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