salaryman | (no subject)

Good grief.

[ But he at least understands that Fai is attempting to soothe whatever pain is inside of him with these sort of antics. He closes his eyes, turns away to take another longer sip of his coffee, as he weighs his choices.

Nanami lets out a single sigh before leaning forward and opening his mouth. ]

Ah. [ With a lot less gusto, but it is said. ]

[ Wow.

He actually did it. Fai is shocked for a moment, his eyebrows raised, before he smiles again and pops the fork right into Nanami's mouth. Once he's sure Nanami has gotten the bite, he slides the fork out of his mouth and back towards himself. ]

Not as enthusiastic as I'd like, but I'll still take it. So, what do you think?

[ The cake itself is nice and light, the icing sweet but not overly so and accented with a coffee flavor. ]

[ The atmosphere around him once more turns that light shade of pink. He nods along to nothing, as he has to admit that it is good. ]

It's good. But everything that you make is good. It's handmade, after all.

[ His eyes light up at that admission. ]

You think so? I always try to make sure whatever I make suits the tastes of the one I'm making it for, so... I'm glad you like what I make for you.

[ Cooking for other people really does make him happy. He feels like he's doing something good for others for once. It's a nice change of pace. ]

You don't have to put that much thought into making something for me.

[ He has no desire to return to their old argument about worth, but he still feels like making a point that he will be fine with anything that he makes.

Though, Nanami pauses -- involuntarily shuddering at the idea of eating subpar food from now on. ]

No, nevermind. Continue to think of me when you make dishes.

[ That shudder has Fai thinking that Nanami is imagining what it would be like if Fai just did whatever he wanted with his dishes, and he has to suppress a laugh. ]

Don't worry, I wouldn't make you something I wouldn't eat myself.

[ He might like to mess around, but he won't do something like that at least. Speaking of messing around, though... Fai leans against the counter, giving Nanami a cheeky smile. ]

I'd be happy to continue thinking of you, though.

[ He saw an opening and he took it. Sorry he's like this.

((and let me know if that's not okay too!!)) ]

I would hope not. [ A beat. ] Sharing meals is something that makes having a roommate worthwhile, right?

[ It gives the feeling that they are not as alone as they believe. Even if Nanami is a person that doesn't want to be perceived by others, Fai is also that kind of person. Since they do not want to be seen or sympathized with, it makes living together actually comfortable and peaceful rather than restrictive and painful. ]

If it involves meals, I don't mind.

[ He pushes his glasses up with one hand as he takes another sip of coffee. ]

Mm, that's part of it.

[ Sharing meals with someone is nice. Before Nanami had moved in, Fai had gotten pretty lonely having most of his meals alone. He'd gotten so used to sharing them with his companions that he hadn't realized how much he would end up missing it.

Fai tilts his head a little. ]

Only meals?

Only meals.

[ As though to make a point, he takes a deep drink of his coffee. His eyes close as he does so, like he is not allowing any complaint.

He refuses to see it, so there will be none. ]

That is more than enough for me.

[ Sorry, Nanami. He has complaints.

Fai sets his own slice of cake down, crossing his arms as he tilts his head. ]

Hmmm... I'm afraid I can't do that, Nanami.

[ He's dropped the nickname too, which means he's serious about this. ]

I consider you a friend. It's inevitable that I'll think of you in other times too, like when I see a book I think you might enjoy.

[ While they are roommates, he can't help but consider Nanami his friend too. Since Fai isn't used to having friends, he takes this seriously. ]

[ He looks over the coffee cup, staring hard at Fai. ]

We are friends, and I am telling you that you do not need to do that for me.

[ Nanami realizes that he is going too far in his desires to not be "seen" by other people. Back home, he did not fuss that much when someone got him something. It was rare when it happened, and he would only tell them that they should spend their money a little wiser, but still accept the gift.

He also does not know how long he will be in this world; he does not know what will happen. His desire to fulfill his duty to others runs hotter than usual. He does not want to do anything to burden them; he doesn't want to do anything to have them remember him if he should fade one way or another. ]

Can you do that for me as my friend?

[ He doesn't need to, but he wants to. Little things like that is how Fai shows that he cares. ]

No.

[ There's a slight frown on his face. Nanami doesn't think he's worth that kind of thought, right? That's what Fai has garnered from that conversation they had at the bonfire.

Hm. ]

You're worried that you're troubling me if I think about you, right? Asking me not to troubles me more.

Eventually, it will come to trouble you.

[ It is why he attempts to remain firm and steadfast; it is why he puts so much effort in being a solid foundation for others and not seek out any comfort or relief for himself. His duty to others comes before his own well-being, and he's fine with that. ]

Why would it trouble you more?

I don't have many people I care about, so I like to do things to show that I care. Thinking of them is one of those things. That's why it would trouble me more.

[ He's also weak—he cares too much about other people, despite his best interests. ]

Maybe I'll regret that later, maybe I won't. It's hard to say, especially in a place like this.

You'll regret it.

[ Nanami can say that for him; he does not think it is right to dictate someone's feelings, but he does not want to cause Fai anymore pain than what the man is already carrying. ]

You will regret it and I will become a curse to you. I don't want to do that to you, Mister Fai.

[ Fai shakes his head. ]

I'm already cursed, Nanamin. You can't give me a greater curse than the one I already have.

[ He alluded to it before, but never really delved into it. But, he's telling the truth. What he has now is worse. ]

Do you think that makes me happy?

[ He is going to set everything down on the counter. It's not roughly set down, as he cares about the items that they have in the apartment. There is no reason to make a show of anger that damages something that both of them have some sentimentality for. ]

Big or small, I do not wish to curse you.

[ Fai glances toward the floor. It probably doesn't make Nanami happy, and that's evident in the way he sets everything down.

He's serious—more than he usually is. ]

You won't. I know what a curse feels like, and nything lesser than what I already have isn't a true curse to me.

[ That's how he sees it, at least. ]

I don't think you're capable of even becoming a curse to me.

[ Because he has had someone become a curse to him before. Fai can't see Nanami ever reaching that level. ]

Whether or not you recognize it is hardly the issue.

[ It is then that Nanami wonders if he has the capability of exorcising the curse that is on Fai. He is willing to admit that it is something out of his capabilities, as well. The curse did not originate in his world, and may not be something he can handle, but -- ]

Don't say that. While alive we cannot create curses, we are capable of it at the moment of our deaths.

[ But he returns to his original thought. ]

Then, I shall ensure that you will not want to be cursed by me ... by attempting to exorcise the curse that you are under.

[ Fai shakes his head, his mind immediately going back to when he was cursed. What would Fei Wang Reed do if he found out someone exorcised that curse? He would probably curse Nanami tenfold, if not outright kill him. ]

No. Don't try. Please.

[ He exhales, belatedly realizing that it comes out a little shaky. He hates talking about it, but he should probably tell Nanami why he doesn't want that. ]

I should have told you since we're living together, but I'm a magician. Or a mage or sorcerer... whatever they're called in your world. [ He looks away, down at the floor. ] I'm cursed to kill the first person I come across that's more powerful than me.

[ And he has no idea if that curse even works here, or if it applies to anyone in this world at all. ]

The only way to end it is for it to be activated.

Edited 2021-05-02 01:45 (UTC)

[ He opens his mouth like he might protest but the manner in which Fai speaks stops him. His shoulders drop just slightly before he straightens his posture; his lips press into a thin, worried line. ]

If you did not feel comfortable telling me these things, it is nothing to feel sorry or guilty for, Mister Fai. [ Nanami feels like saying that to him, and letting him know that he holds not ill will about it.

But he pauses at hearing what he's been cursed with. How cruel. Isn't that cursing a person to die in such a roundabout and terrible manner? He wants to ask why he was cursed like this, but can only assume the individual is simply an evil person.

There are those that have deep and complex reasons for doing things, he can admit that much, and there are those he doesn't care to understand or sympathize with regardless of their reasons.

Because he, too, can be cruel when he wishes to be. ]

I see. [ He hesitates for a moment before reaching out to place his hand on Fai's shoulder, gripping it lightly. A sigh slips past his lips -- a wave of frustration can be felt in his emotions -- before he pulls him forward into a quick embrace.

Sympathy for his plight, reluctant resignation in accepting Fai will care for him as he already decides to care for the mage, and a burning fury for the person that cursed him -- all these emotions felt as he holds him. ]

[ He looks at Nanami properly, surprised to hear that he doesn't care that Fai kept something like that from him. His immediate reaction is to ask him if that's really okay, if he should be hiding the fact that he's potentially dangerous. Somehow, though, he thinks Nanami would still insist that he shouldn't feel guilty or apologetic about it.

That hand on his shoulder makes him smile a little, and he's about to tell Nanami that he doesn't need to comfort him, but then he pulls Fai into a hug. Immediately, his eyes widen and those emotions—sympathy, resignation, and fury—are practically radiating from Nanami through their bond. It's almost overwhelming, and without even realizing it, Fai's arms wrap around Nanami in return, tight and almost desperate.

He... didn't realize how badly he needed a hug, and it's all hitting him now. Maybe it was meant to be quick, but Fai doesn't want to let go just yet. ]

[ Nanami is a person that does not hug people easily; he keeps to his own space and people respect the boundaries that he sets for himself. But he cannot listen to Fai's situation, to all the implications of what the curse he has been given means, and not respond in some way.

His hold tightens around him, and he dips his head down to rest it softly against the man's head. He isn't able to get his feelings to settle -- they remain the same blend of emotions, but there is a sense of relief that Fai is willing to let himself be comforted. ]

It may be too simplistic and cruel for me to say, but... you did not do anything wrong. [ Yes. It is too easy and too brutal a statement for him to make; he's someone uninvolved and does not know the full story. But still, he did admit to himself that he can be cruel at times. ]

I... You would probably change your mind if you knew.

[ Fai's own emotions are mixed up too—a cocktail of frustration with himself, grief, and sadness that Nanami can probably feel.

Fai squeezes him tighter, burying his face in Nanami's neck. ]

But... I want to believe what you said for now.

[ The truth is, no one has ever said that to him before. It's a relief to hear, even if he's sure Nanami would change his mind. ]

[ Nanami sees no reason to lie and say that he would not change his mind if he knew the truth. It may be that whatever truly happened may be Fai's fault in some way, but he goes over what was shared before -- and he refuses to believe that he will change his mind.

Even if it is an inconvenient truth, he does not desire to damn one person who has already been dragged down so far. He also sees no reason to do that, and Fai is someone who still reaches out to help and care for others.

And so he can firmly say: ]

I won't. I will not change my mind.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

((no worries!!))

((OK GOOD!!))

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject